I have been thinking of writing something for a while. Nothing worked out. No, its not that I haven’t had any topic to ponder; there were many worthy subjects to choose from. But- something, some feeling has been playing spoilsport. I get this flow of thoughts and rush to my system- only to find my incapability to convert them into words.
That feeling still persists; and writing something is the only way out. So here’s a list of things I wanted to write about in the first place (in separate posts, mind you).
• India Vs Australia- Sydney test. Lots of emotions, and lots of media coverage. I could have written a page or two (like millions of others), but I hadn’t witnessed the match. And most of the sports articles nowadays are more in line with gossips columns. Without first-hand info, I could write nothing.
• Work. Not a good idea.
• Smoking. It was the busiest and the (2nd) most stressful week I have ever had. And on the top of it, I was trying to quit (reduce the number, rather, considering the way that ‘try’ unfolded) smoking. The worst cold turkey I’ve ever faced- kicking off weed/alcohol was easier than this! On top of it, one of the closest buddies of mine asked me to quit smoking (unbeknownst of my efforts) to which I readily agreed. I smoked my first cigarette in a week that evening.
The pang of guilt has been hitting me ever since. Low self esteem, lower tolerance levels… everything has come crashing. It’s all my doing, I know. There are only two ways to handle this: stop smoking, or keep smoking- hell with the people who have my best interests in their mind. Right now I’m treading a fine path- there’s an hour between the beginning of the craving and its fulfillment. I’m thinking of increasing this time, but I know it’s very difficult. Hell, I can’t even muster the courage to talk to the person who wanted me to quit!
• India vs Australia- the Perth epic. Thought I’d reserve my opinion till the series gets done.
• Biking. Somewhere deep inside, I don’t feel I’m a biker yet. I do get high, I do experience wonderful moments, but putting them into words is beyond my present intellect. I’ll wait.
• Juno. One of the simplest movies I have seen. The music was good, The narration crisp and fast, dialogues witty… and the fact that Juno (Ellen Page) faintly resembles someone I greatly admire (am I right? :P) helped, too. Then I read some reviews, and promptly decided against writing one. I won’t be doing justice to the movie. All that I can say is that you’d want to laugh, but won’t find the heart to do so.
That’s pretty much it. Hope I’ll write something worthwhile the next time.