(Warning: If you don't like philosophy and/or nostalgia, I strongly suggest you skip the rest of the page. So long, and thanks for all the fish.)
Did you have a vision of how your life would be in your late teens? Of course you did. can you remember any of it now? of course not. Thankfully, I chronicled my ambitions, of where I'd like to see myself in 2, 5, and ten years time. Not in the obvious 'journal' way, but by storing images of of what I wanted to achieve in a folder named 'wallpapers'. (Had to do it; my friends used to call me 'mad man' without those lofty ambitions. I'd have been shipped off to Arkham Asylum if they found out my future plans).
And then disaster struck. Nothing dramatic, but dangerous nonetheless. in common terms, 'Routine' happened. Get up, go to work, come back, eat, sleep, occasional movies. Collect the paycheck. repeat as necessary.
Slowly, the nomad in me went into hibernation. I'd take small detours in between to keep the inner soul pacified, but never did anything that I wanted to do. 'You need to do this to get the money; once you get enough cash in the bank, you can go back to the life you wanted' was the reason I gave myself.
How wrong I was.
In retrospect, I think I treated life the wrong way; you see, life isn't about completing a series of tasks. I think it is more about getting the most fun, doing things that you love. of course, we need to do some shitty stuff too, but only to get to the good stuff.
I think the 18-yr old me was way better than the 25 year old me. he was broke and didn't have much brains, sure, but he had balls. He listed all the good stuff he wanted to do, said "once I get out of the college, once I'm not answerable to anyone, I'll do these", and lived in hope.
The 25-year old brainiac replaced "once I'm out of the college" to "someday", and started to live in a make-believe world.
I think this 'someday' is the most dangerous word ever known to mankind; it usually is (strike that, it ALWAYS is) a fancy replacement for 'never'. if it weren't for my old laptop, I'd still be swimming in that 'someday' shit.
I think I should start by thanking the guy who repaired my old laptop. And then, maybe, make some 'someday's come true.